Saturday, July 31, 2004 | Saturday, July 31, 2004

Today was a happy happy day. :)

But first things first, nic came to stay over yesterday! For the first time since goodness knows how long ago. About 2 years i think. That PIG slept from 2am to 12pm today. Goodness! And every hour i would come bounding into the room to wake her, but i don't think she even noticed me in her deep sleeping-beauty-like slumber. Baked a cake yesterday too, and she, of all creatures, chose to adopt the characteristics of a housefly; trailed after my every step right after i took the cake out of the tin. My cake, on one hand, also took on the shape of a three-armed graben (see, i know my geog muahah). It fell apart into three big pieces right after i took it out. Sigh.

Had to go his house too yesterday after school to take the tekong-entry tickets and his stuff for today's visit, and bedok is so, arghh, confusing! My second time lost in rural bedok. Had a happy 1o-15 minutes spent walking under the hot sun searching for his block and comforting myself with nasty thoughts of making SBS PAY. Seriously, having two 225s service the bedok area would make any newcomer/visitor-to-friendly-bedok want to tear his hair out. Of course, i had to take the wrong one. Only my miserly instincts of not wanting to waste money on cabfare, just for the mere sake of rectifying my mistake, kept me plodding on in the hot sun.

Today was a happy happy day. :) Ah yes, i repeated myself, i know. Went tekong with wendy to see nathan. He looks..normal. And fit! And he looks damn good in army uni; that, of course, is an unbiased statement despite the fact that i love green. Another mini-version of damien, haha. Showed us his bunk, canteen, falling-in place etc. We only spent about an hour plus there i think, barely enough time. Wendy kept on commenting that the whole place looks like a holiday chalet resort. Haha. Good life la.

The famous women-box. Goodness. Only today did i get an inkling of how deprived army guys actually are. Went into two bunks; nathan's had this cardboard box meant for storing valuables and stuff; sounds innocent right? Wrong. There were magazine pictures of scantily-clad women in lingerie cut out and pasted all over the box! (!!!) Nicely wrapped at that; don't think a girl could've done a better job in wrapping. The other bunk had, next to its vanguard sheet paper of mottos and patriotic aspirations of being the best army soldier, MORE pictures of women. Guys.

One thing i've discovered rather horrifically: i get seasick. When i get seasick, i get diarrhoea. When you get diarrhoea and remain stuck in the toilet when you're supposed to be out there visiting/catching up with your son/brother/significant other and haven't seen each other in 9 days, you feel lousy. I don't think i'll be riding ferries or boats anytime soon thank you very much.

Plus, i will treasue the importance of always having tissue by your side,wherever you are and wherever you go. When you have to lower your pride and beg a stranger for tissue and she will only part with two pieces reluctantly (out of her full packet), plus when you have extra bad diarrhoea and have to split the 2 tissues into mini mini pieces to ensure maximum usage, you better learn your lesson in carrying tissues around, yessiree!

One thing which i noticed while there: two mothers were crying when on the ferry back to changi terminal and on the bus back to pasir ris. Trying to envision their pain or loneliness without their sons by their side and at home. Were those sons crying too?

Praying he can come out friday night. (: If not, saturday afternoon will do just fine.

Thursday, July 29, 2004 | Thursday, July 29, 2004

Hmm. My memory says mr chua says mr chen says i'm a bum. But really, would a bum constitute a full proportion of the human being? Nah, more like the average human's 20% bum. It's not that big. (:

Pris kindly pointed out in class today that i have cellulite on my flabby thighs while i was vulnerably exposed in pe short shorts. According to dictionary.com, it defines cellulite as fatty deposits around the thighs and butt, causing a dimpled or uneven appearance. Got dimples meh? Or as a matter of fact, uneven meh? My thighs are perfectly and routinely round what. Huh.

Talk about ego-dampening.

One thing i'm quite proud of: i've quite liberated myself from the vanity-inducing contact lenses! Nonstop wearing of glasses from sunday till now, yay. And not even feeling weird about it, even though so many've come up this past week to enquire about the additional accessory on my nose. Could do with the fact that there're no incentives aka male ones in school to look good though, lol.

Today was my sister's first time driving me to school. Made a nice little trip down to changi airport before heading to education prison, and received complete vice-p-adulation during morning assembly as a result.

Saturday i'm commanding you to come come come quick! Wanna see my dory again! Yay!

Haha, just succeeded in teh-ing him into calling his parents. Over the phone.  Am i the filial-son-incultivator or what. (:

Sunday, July 25, 2004 | Sunday, July 25, 2004

Muahah. It's official; it's out! B O F for midyears. Very happy with my B, upset with the rest.

Well you know what they say; it's good to be optimistic and focus on the good points! My parents had different ideals though; while trying to highlight the ONE Bbb!! i managed to get for the first time in my entire jc career, my dad ignored that one redeeming grade totally and harped on the O and F instead. Gah. Ya anyway, just remembered i was praying for a C at least a few weeks back for lit, but God blessed me with a B instead, so it's giving thanks time. Yay! Now if i could just get my butt down to econs and geog too life would be too beautiful for words. Riiiight.

That aside, feeling a little blue these past days. I'm feeling blueee...and there's nothing i can dooo. I'm feeling blueee...my words are filled with rue.... (sung to tune of 'summertime'). 31st july and 7th august, come soon please!

Thursday, July 22, 2004 | Thursday, July 22, 2004

Hmm guess my life's been put on hold this past week.

Nathan's just gone into bmt this morning.

What's irritating is that i could've been there to send him off to tekong too, grr, cuz my lessons didn't start till 11am this morn. Being the kiasu mj is though, i predict the school'd have called my house to check if i was really home and going to see a doctor!

Announcement of the day: i was suspended from lessons yesterday! Ok normally the reasons for being suspended would be too shameful to be made public, but in this instance i'm at a loss for words. Two whole classrooms full of people were suspended along with me..with the simple fact that we were 5 minutes late for school cuz of the heavy rain yesterday morning. So we went for a nice morning jog round the school hall in front of the whole school before being kept in some isolated room (termed as dungeon in my perspective) right at the top of the block; talk about the dark ages still existing till today.

Didn't feel like a punishment though; it was nice and windy and rainy; so long as you tuned unwanted nagging out and did your own stuff. (: Just wondering about the school's sudden fondness for suspending people, especially so late into the year (hello, consideration for a level people? there's only 3 1/2 months left).

Tuesday and Wednesday was kinda bittersweet. I treated nathan to Max Brenner's Choc Bar on tuesday, and he treated me to Pizza Hut and The Cheesecake Cafe last night. Basically we feasted like royalty; now i feel fat. Haha.

Friends today kept asking if i was ok; do i look that un-fine? Haha i'm fine i'm fine! Really. Guess it's like phase one of Relationship Trials that Determines the Ultimate you-know-what (RTDU) . Lots more phases to come. Oh and eunice and i had a very interesting talk on what goes on in army aka when guys convolute in large groups and the eminent topic which comes up is  _ _ _! Make a guess. She should know best cuz her own ahem's leaving army already. So, nathan, i'm gonna buy you ear plugs. ..when you get back.

And eunice also bore witness to one feat i finally had the courage to accomplish today. There's the finality to it; it's been done and i'm never gonna look back; i'm never gonna hurt from it again. (:

Monday, July 19, 2004 | Monday, July 19, 2004

I came across this blog. What i read cut me deep. It got me thinking. Isn't friendship something very hurtful? Friendship is so powerful, you have the power to hurt someone with it. See, it's something you can always take away; am i not correct? It's yours to give and yours to take away.

It irks me that i should still hurt.  Why do i hurt? It used to be that i was there too; am i so dislikeable now? If only the heart was malleable, turn it this way and it'd feel this, turn it the other way and it'd feel that.

Had a talk with esther in school just now too. It had a surprisingly calming effect. (: It's soothing in the sense that she can relate to whatever that's been going on. Even though there's no formulaic solution, but still!

Haha my daddy's watching lotr now. Now if escapism could come right now..ahh...can't wait to get to middle earth.

2 days left, effectively. Sighh.

Sunday, July 18, 2004 | Sunday, July 18, 2004

Feeling so upset now. Can't anything i do not result in either party getting angry at me? Or, like, it's so whatever. It's so, you know, inevitable, that, like, i wash my hands of it. I can't like, you know, please everyone. Just tell me straight to my face if you aren't happy? I won't die, i can handle it. No need to be so worried and go confiding in others first.

Ignore the above. I just need to work off frustration.

Thursday, July 15, 2004 | Thursday, July 15, 2004

I love medicine. Did i mention that? Especially pretty pink ones. Talk about colour being the incentive to eat 'em. Haha. Sunday was the day i started taking antibiotics officially for my pimples, today's the fifth day and i'm feeling gooood. (: Countered with this nice face-redeeming yellow gel which, technically, is supposed to burn off any pesky things on my face like pimples, pimple scars, whiteheads, blackheads etc, my face is nicely peeling off. (: Oh i could kiss my med! Both the pills and the gel. I love them. (: Gimme one month, i'll have nuu skin once more! Skin smooth as a baby's ass. Muahahs.

Oh been wanting to put this here, since the 9th, hehe. Got it out of a devotional book my sis let me borrow. Some might find it helpful.

How To Tell When You Are Intimate With God:
1. One will never be lonely.
2. One never lacks for understanding or compassion.
3. One can continually pour out her heart to Him without being perceived as overly emotional or pitiful.
4. One will never draw attention to herself but will only show evidence of a life where Jesus is completely in control.

How To Get Intimate With Him:
Allow God to satisfy every area of your life to its depth.

Visible Result of An Intimate Relationship With God:
See John 15:1-4.
In particular verse 4-- Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me.

Been feeling empty, guess that got my attention.

Hmm life has been returning back to normal; by that i mean the excitement (right) of getting back results being almost over, plus me going back to sleep during econs class. Sigh gimme motivation to stay awake in econs please. I need to pass. Ahh yes the return of two lit papers will determine my fate, whether i hafta go see the p or the teacher. It's either of those two, so God please pretty please let me get a C or more for lit. Grr, hope i didn't fail too badly for lit unseen. For ignoramuses' informtation i only did 1 1/4 out of 2 essays for that paper, so i need very hard prayers and alot of faith to believe that my two other papers will pull me up up and away!!! To a C!!! Sigh.

7, or rather 6 days left. Kukuneneh.

Monday, July 12, 2004 | Monday, July 12, 2004

It hath been rudely brought to my attention that, woe and unbeknownst to me, many little people hath been visiting this website and reading its contents (and teasing certain victimised traumatised schmraumatised subjects). Of course, it izzz known that no phlegmatic likes that (-- world peace), and of course, a blog, just the fact that it is a..blog, will always be accessible to anyone. Henceforth, due to vehement violent objections from a blue-skinned fish, it will thus be known as --. (identity kept secret shh).

My one bright spot in the midst of all the Fs: an A, finally! Okay okay, so what if that A constitutes only 1/3 of the overall for literature. I got an A i got an A! Har. Har. Har. Note the sadness. Feel the sadness. Irony: i spent a hundred times more than what i did to study geog and econs..and still wound up with Fs. Not good when your a levels are 3 1/2 months down the road..no no no.

Due to a phlegmatic's craftiness and well-timed phonecall, she managed to bail out on today's pe lesson, hehehe. Alibi was a dental checkup which comes, unfortunately, only once in six months. Of course, when the dentist started poking my gums with her sharp metallic point i started questioning how well my craftiness worked out to my benefit.

Any teacher who tries to kill a student's love for reading ought to..nevermind. A certain teacher wanted to confiscate my precious archie comics today while phlegmatic and friends were reading them. The last time a teacher confiscated my comics was in pri 5. How degrading.

Last night had the most amount of hard work/talent i've ever seen in people my own age. That was despite the fact that i had to resist the urge to pee for almost 2/3 through the vj tsd performances. Plenty of eye candy too. Muahs. I'm sure nathan enjoyed it too, inspite of the fact that some gentle persuasion was required beforehand. Ha. Nicole you did great! With the exception that you were supposed to puke! Now why couldn't you have, hahaha, so many times you did the piece, so many times you obligingly puked, but on the one occasion i go specially to watch you perform, you choose not to puke. Blargh. ): But for that amount of minutes, i was pure convinced my best friend's iq had hit floor bottom. Apologies again for not giving you flowers ah, but again, i'm sure -am--'s flowers more than made up for it didn't it?!! Hehehe.

1o days to countdown you kukuneneh.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004 | Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Can't be bothered much these days. Just concerning everything and anything. Grades grades grades. Sigh. Isn't there much more to life than just grades?! Unfortunately. No. Everything in school gets me so depressed now ever since school started yesterday. Yesterday was crummy. Today was too. But that's ok! It'll all end in 5 months time!

Was privileged enough to get a peek at my half-marked geog paper just now, prospects don't look good at all. Econs i hardly dare mention. Well people puke blood trying to get facts into my head; i puke blood trying to study. Why for goodness sake do i have such a rotten sense of econs?!

Saw an mj couple tongue-ing on bus 17 just now. Both were too engrossed to notice me staring open-mouthed. Major liberalism. Tsktsk.

Saturday: Wenta see spiderman2 with abide. And amazingly, it took a comicbook-film to portray the villian in a 1oo% full sympathetic light. For that, i give it infinite thumbs up! Kirsten Dunst looks damn pretty in the film, not in that overt way but rather subtle beauty. And her complexion! I'm extremely jealous. To digress a little and put it in not-too-pretty words, my dad had a genuine look of horror on his face as he demanded to know what'd happened to me last night, when he saw me for the first time in my hair all pulled back with my face in a mask, with all the gross spots and pimples revealed. Not surprisingly i got pretty upset after that.

And note the puns on 'pretty'. I don't feel pretty at all currently so yup i'm still pretty much depressed with my face's state.

Sunday: Highlight of the day was when i disgraced myself totally at dinner at dory's grandma's birthday dinner. Your fault dory for not briefing me on what to say beforehand. Ahem. At least i kept my appetite and finished my plate of rice. Can't say i did wonderful. Sigh.

Monday: my mum bought me toner cuz she thought my face is getting more pimply by the day (yes yes it's a very big issue in my life now). Went to nic's house after that and literally slept the whole time away on her comfy bed. :) And this time i didn't drool. Hah! She was so paranoid about me doing that (akin back to sec 4 when i drooled on her green cushion studying a maths) so i just had to prove her wrong didn't i. :)

Tuesday: Crummy.

Wednesday: Extra crummy.

Aims for the betterment of my future:
1. Go see a doc about my pimples (a woman with flawless complexion is 25% prettier)
2. Start planning a revision table for the 4 months leading up to a levels. Not much time left!
3. Quit falling asleep in lectures, even if they're particularly boring or unhelpful.
4. Quit spoiling the precious lenses with proteins, sadistic you.

Friday, July 02, 2004 | Friday, July 02, 2004

Haha. Eh look. :) I'm the domineering type. Muahahs.

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

| Friday, July 02, 2004

No More Midyears for jc! The worst i've ever done. Why it's stated so calmly is due to the resigned state of the procrastinator (fellow procrastinators equally bad can identify with it). But nothing can pull me down..for now. ..i splurged today! Went with dearest nic to orchard and bought a pink striped bag that's to die for, these cute pink earrings and a long-overdue present for dory. :)

Oh and we had a free neutrogena mask facial too, right in the middle of taka watson. Lucky the mask disguises the whole face so people we know wouldn't see us. ..not that i saw many i knew in the first place. It's that moron of a nic who appears to be the queen of goodness knows what vj gossip club! Wah, everwhere we turned, sure bump into one, two, a whole bunch of her vj friends. Grr. I stopped counting after the fifth bump. That girl has more friends than the total number of fingers and toes combined. Way way more. Friends who go to orchard that is. Ahem. People-watching gets pretty fascinating too while eating subway at cine. The entire jc world must've been out in orchard today. There sure were lots of stare-worthy male counterparts. :)

Went for prayer meeting at night. Today's was specially for youths since youth sunday is next sunday. Prayer was especially lighthearted today. Coughcoughwhybecausegeorgiecouldntstopgigglingwhilepraying.

And before i forget...

Moon river, wider than a mile
I'm crossin' you in style some day.
Old dream maker, you heartbreaker.
Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way.

Two drifters, off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' round the bend.
My huckleberry friend, Moon River, and me.

The moon was especially nice and round and bright tonight. Done specially for us?

It's the second. (: